When did you study at St Mellitus College? What program were you in?
I studied as an independent student for an undergraduate degree in Theology, Ministry, Mission. For me, it was quite interesting. Before I started studying theology, I was quite confused with what to do. I had five years after college of looking at various things that I could have done, and none felt quite right. I ended up working for the church I was at, but I think the idea of ministry, was maybe, subconscious, a little bit scary. I think I always looked at people who were in ministry, and I thought you need to be super holy. “They're super holy. I'm not that, so I couldn't do ministry.”
But then after a few chats and praying, and especially through talking with my brother, I started to realise you can love God just as much as a pastor, a bin man, a barista, or whatever else. It might look different in each context, and of course there are important differences, but that was actually quite a liberating thing for me. It made me think, maybe I could do ministry. Maybe I could get into this thing.
So, I started checking out theology colleges because I thought, “I love God, people, music, all these things that are in church, right? Let’s maybe look into it.”
And actually, I was set on going to another theology college because it seemed fairly similar to the church I was at, at the time. But then people kept mentioning St Mellitus, and I didn’t really know much about it. I thought, “Okay, I’ll just go along to confirm the fact that I’m going to go to the other one.”
I went along and genuinely, as soon as I came through the doors, I felt at home. I felt like everyone knew me and I knew everyone — and I think I knew one person or something. I just loved being there. And that kind of stuck around, really, for the whole time I was there.
Obviously, I was in the Covid year. So, I had six months, and then a year and a half online, and then our last year, thankfully, was in person. But I just loved it. I often say I can count on one hand the amount of lectures I maybe didn’t enjoy so much. I think I just landed in something at the right time and the right place.
I was so hungry for all these discussions. And I think I was one of those students — I’m a teacher now, and I find the students who talk incessantly and put their hand up incessantly quite annoying — but I was definitely that student.
Yeah, that was how I got into it. And then I think even whilst at St Mellitus, I felt almost a confirming of that call to ministry. But I had no sense of what that looked like, no sense of what kind of thing God wanted to do. But as it came towards the end of the time, I felt God saying, “Not yet.”
And then I was also teaching, as a teaching assistant in my last year, so I kind of went that route. But yeah, that’s the course I did. That’s a little bit of how I got into it.
You mentioned that you're teaching vocationally now. What do you teach?
I teach religious education. I appreciate not everyone will have a job that maybe connects so clearly, but I do get to use my theology a lot, which is really special. So, it’s a Catholic school, which is quite interesting. I grew up in an Anglican church up to the age of 12, and then I started going to a kind of charismatic Pentecostal church until last year. Then I moved to Brighton, and now I’m at St Peter’s.
So, I feel like I’ve got a funky mix. And I know it reflects that idea of generous orthodoxy — I love that. Because it’s a Catholic school, it’s mostly Christianity that they learn, which in some ways is a shame, because it’s maybe sometimes less critical. But what is lovely is that I would actually consider myself a theology teacher, in terms of the depth that we go into with the kids. It’s super involved. So, I get to use the theology a lot, which is great.
Reflecting on your time at St Mellitus, what resonates most with you?
I think one of the ways is optimism. It feels like such an optimistic place. And that can be said in quite a negative way sometimes, like a lack of realism, but it’s not that. Like a true oxygen, a sense of there’s something fresh and new, yet still super rooted in Scripture, in the old, in a good way.
I think hope as well. It feels like a place genuinely full of hope. It’s pushing a few exciting kinds of boundaries, I know, with the Peter Stream and the Caleb Stream (now Elizabeth Pathway), that kind of thing. Some of it was maybe already going, but just the fact that you’re with people who are, in lots of different ways, going on their first theological journey.
For me, I was so ready to just sink my teeth into it, but no one had given me the chance to properly read stuff, to have debates, and it was just all there on a plate for me. And that was just super exciting. And you’re with like-minded people, so there’s just this hunger and hope around. It was really special.
I also think very caring, like very caring. I went to see the chaplain eight times. I went through a bit of a hectic relational situation at home at the time, and St Mellitus was a super safe place for me.
The way I used to think of it — because obviously, I was in Haywards Heath, Lindfield, a little village next to Haywards Heath, in between London and Brighton, and I was in Hove at the time, so I’d commute up — it felt like a mini retreat every week, on the Monday. And then, of course, you had the teaching weeks. But to go up was just super special, and it felt like a safe space away from a lot of the hectic stuff.
You’d get fresh perspective on personal issues, as well as theological stuff. And I went to the chaplain so many times, cried many tears, but it was like tears in a safe place. And that was really special. Yeah, those are a few initial thoughts.
What was your formational journey like while studying with us?
I think that, not to run the risk of making too much of a picture-perfect answer, but the theological reflections — they were the kinds of things where you got out of them what you put in. And I didn’t go 110% on all of them, but honestly, even just some of the essays, they were super formational. There’s stuff in those that I still hold on to now.
So, they were huge, because you’re spending a lot of time thinking about some really big things. And I think that was what I found most exciting: taking theology that can feel far away from real life, and then bringing it together with real life. Those were always my favourite books, and my favourite lectures too — the ones that made that connection. So that was really special.
I think the lectures themselves were formational as well. When I put my hand up, the lecturers would let me speak. And then there were the discussions with fellow students and staff too, which were really formational.
I think one other formational thing was actually the fact that it wasn’t just all people in their 20s, but there were some random connections and then also people who were into their 50s and 60s that I was quite close to during that time, and that was massive.
How has studying theology shaped how you lead or serve in your current context?
For my dissertation — I’m not sure if that’s what they called it, but it was 6,000 words — I was fortunate to do something that felt really on the ground and real.
It had a fancy title, as they always do. It was something like, “How does a theology of vulnerability impact mission to young adults today?” But basically, I was looking at vulnerability from a theological perspective. And that’s one of the things that really still lands in how I approach loads of different relationships.
Obviously, working at a school, it’s naturally a pastoral place. And I’ve been figuring out how vulnerability is the way through to connection. You can’t build any relationship unless, at some point, you’re vulnerable in some sort of way — like being honest about something that you’re going through, or something that you went through, or just bearing a bit of your soul in some way. That drives connection and allows someone to go deeper. So, it’s about figuring out what that looks like in the different contexts I’m in.
Obviously with kids, I won’t talk super vulnerably, but there are some areas where you can open yourself up, and that has been so profound in creating trust with the students. So that’s definitely one way it plays out, and it looks like something different with colleagues.
And for me, right now, I’m figuring out power dynamics in a place of work: when I’m too open, or when I go the wrong way round through some sort of channel — like, who should I talk to? It’s the nitty gritty of that. It’s knowing how to hold yourself, where to be vulnerable, and how to be wise with it. So that feels like, by osmosis, theology has got into all of those different parts of life.
I moved to Brighton six months ago, and I’m getting stuck in at St Peter’s. It’s a big church, and I’m not used to a big church, so I’m figuring that out in relationships there too. I feel like even now, I’m kind of subtly drawing on that.
So that’s really special. One maybe more obvious thing within the R.E. teaching is looking at today’s society and sociology, basically: what is society about? So looking at individualism, or phones, or gender, and all these hot topics, and then taking theology and putting them together. What are the stories that have built today? And how does God’s story tie into that, or go against that, or speak into that kind of thing?
And so that’s quite exciting. I’ve had a few lessons where I’ve been able to tap into that quite directly and speak about it, especially with the college students, and just talk about what God’s story might say to that.
Why would you encourage someone to study theology at St Mellitus?
I think there are two initial thoughts. One is, like I said, you get what you put in. And at St Mellitus there are some serious brains — like Chris Tilling, Jane Williams, the fact that we got a bit of Rowan Williams. That felt wild, to be able to tap into that.
And at the end of the day, it’s about the Lord, and about knowing God more and loving him more. And this creates such a unique place to do that. So, if you allow it, it can draw you into that love of the Lord more, and that has to benefit everything. I feel like it’s almost a shorthand principle — one of the shorthand principles of what the Bible says — and that’s everything.
I look back, and you always wish you’d done more at uni, got more into the subject. Read the books, do the essays, read uncomfortable stuff, seek out people who are going to be keen to chat, pester the lecturers because they’re there. Get the most out of it. So that would be one bit of advice.
I was speaking to someone yesterday about this sense of, what about the people who are not so suited to it? And maybe there is an argument for saying, test your heart a bit. It might not be for everyone, or it might not be for everyone all the time. And for me, it really was. You know when God just kind of — you just tumble into something? It did feel a bit like that.
And maybe one third thing that kind of ties the two together is: don’t let it just be an academic exercise. Studying the Lord cannot just be purely academic; that’s not his heart for us at all. And there’s that classic “faith seeking understanding” thing — St. Anselm, or whoever said it. I think that is a big thing to lean into: the idea that as you believe and as you trust him more, that imparts fresh understanding, and the studying builds into that.
Can you share a story about how you've been seeing God move in your life since leaving St Mellitus?
There are a few different areas. One would obviously be school — that’s massive, but in a few different ways.
So, the training around teaching can be quite hardcore, and it was really hard. It was really difficult, but I did just feel like I landed on my feet through every stage of the teacher training. And being at the school I’m at, I get to pray for the kids in front of them spontaneously. In the first lesson, I did not expect that. And it’s a faith school, so in a sense, obviously I can do that, but it’s so open to that. I get to dip into a bit of worship music and that kind of thing. So, I’d say just God’s guiding hand at the school has been really significant.
And then, on a personal level, I’m 30 now, and it was only six months ago that I moved out of my parents’. I had a few stints away from home, but this is the first time being independent, so I’m late to the game — partly a sign of the times, house prices, all that kind of thing.
I think this season in particular — I think the last year — has just been so significant on multiple levels. Not only landing on my feet with the teaching, but then pushing out into fresh independence, coming to Brighton, figuring stuff out here, and just trying to be led by the Lord.
From 12 to about 29, I went to a very charismatic church, which was amazing, and it was super formational in itself. One of the big things was that it gave me the realisation of how real God is, that he’s involved in our lives here and now through the Spirit and that kind of thing. And I have experiences of hearing God and that kind of thing.
But at St Mellitus and in the last few years, there’s just been this real journey with being over-critical, coming away from a faith and trust in the work of the Spirit, and then coming back into it. Then a personal thing happened, and it was like, am I hearing God? And now I’m settling back into it. So, I think God’s just taken me on a big journey there.
